i hesitate.

and the nervousness is in every crack in my confidence
it slides on all the bends in my personality then leaks out
my fearless structure like an egg almost saved

i shrug
i make excuses
i mask the disappointment with reasons why it was not meant to be,
concealed with a blame away from me.

i dictate the supposed sequencing of the events of the past
perhaps God had made a mistake on how things developed
surely the powers that be mishandled this encounter

i contempt; the opportunity was not of merit, regardless
even though i’ll spend the rest of time thinking about my deeds,
reimagining the event in a world where I get second chances, and thirds,
or a world where i flawlessly predict the obvious next occurrence

even though i’ll shame myself in future recounts
about a great missed opportunity.

—————————

Rest In Peace to all the opportunities we missed because of lack of confidence and nervousness 🙏🏾✨

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