I graduated University with a Bachelor’s degree in Communication (NOT CommunicationS—big difference, look it up). I am so glad I had decided to pursue that path with my education. I am not, “using my degree” in a corporate office or anything similar, but communication is something that we do every day, right? So when am I NOT using my degree?
I am very passionate about traveling. I want to travel, not for the luxurious aspect of it, but to see the world and the many different types of people that Earth has in all of its corners. I want to meet people; I want to learn about people. I want to close my mouth and listen. In listening, observing, and interacting with people, it occurred to me that we don’t understand each other. That is a painful and ugly truth. We also don’t invest in understanding each other. So we have grown folks (not just teenagers) complaining about or solidifying their pride around the fact that no one truly understands them, and no one ever will—until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. At most times, we KNOW other people—know how they are, how they would react, what they would say, what annoying habits they have—but we never know the WHY. We fail to understand each other.
I am not a researcher, a philosopher nor a scientist. A few years after today, I may come back to this post and laugh at myself. My conclusions of society are made from what I’ve observed, and the things I’ve understood so far in my life. We are not good to each other. In Charles Bukowski’s “Love Is a Dog From Hell”, Charles has a similar observation, “people are so tired/mutilated/either by love or no love./people just are not good to each other/one on one.” Of course, there are many good people in the world, but the evil is very pure and inescapable. I believe that one of the main reasons for it being so is that we do not UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. We do not spend enough time (or any time at all) coming to an understanding of why some people are the way they are, and then accepting the results in order to approach them in a healthy way. Of course, after knowing someone for a very long time, you will inevitably know a lot about them; you will know the reasons why they are the way they are. But how many people do we know on that level? As you name someone, tell me this: do you know that person incredibly well, with receipts and proof, or are you just so accustomed to how they react to things and what they tend to say and do that you’re able to predict their next actions? So you know them, but do you understand why they are the way that they are?
There’s another side to this as well. We also don’t understand ourselves well enough to ALLOW others to understand us. I have come across a lot of people who were complaining about someone not understanding them. Meanwhile, that person doesn’t know themselves well enough to avoid unfortunate events that do not go along with who they are, they can’t make choices that will make them happy in the future, or know how well they would navigate a certain relationship, etc.
At 25 years old, I thought I knew who I was and could thoroughly explain my personality to somebody. Honestly, I had a pretty good idea of the person I was, but the stuff I didn’t know is so crucial! It wasn’t until I came across a book titled “Type Talk” that my eyes opened up more to who I am and what to do with myself. Of course, I am only 25 years old—I doubt my brain has even fully developed yet. There are more versions and updates of myself coming along, and much much much more self exploration and understanding to be done. Nonetheless, what I learned from this book was sssssssoooooooooo life changing! I don’t remember the last time I was this comfortable in my own skin. I feel confident in my ability to navigate someone towards understanding me more deeply and fully. More so, I feel more confident in my ability to understand others—I have better tools in approaching someone and accepting them—and in helping others with understanding someone else, and understanding themselves.