Poetry by Charles Joseph

The Last Time My Heart Broke

Heart-shaped cookie broken with dry rose below it
Photo by – Pexels

last time my heart broke, I heard
the clump, and felt
the crash, as my heart
disengaged to pieces

often, I smile
at the face of pain.

She looked into my eyes
bent a knee
stuck out a hand
opened a palm
attempted at minimizing
the abundance in impact
With an uncertain laugh
(of regret, realization, stubbornness)

“But what about me?!” I blurted.
Desperate and inundated.

The more, she burst in a timid laugh meant to calm the opponent,
like the sun shining on spilled laundered liquid
thrown away. Gliding on dirty ground.
A timid laugh meant to bring joy—
as I usually do for her—in this suffocating moment.

I could still see
a squinting eye struggling with restraining the rain,
making a slight appearance; a quick escape
on her face.

Her composure

My structure

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2 responses to “The Last Time My Heart Broke”

  1. What a poem, you captured heartbreak. Dang! Beautiful poem. Heartbreak pain is quite a time in ones life. I look back and see how that kind of pain has given me a higher capacity to receive and give love, and have a higher respect for love itself. I understand heartbreak pain has the potential to cause people to take different routes on their life journey: I wonder looking back how it has impacted you/any of your readers?

    1. Heartbreak is quite a time in life indeed!

      I love your positive view towards heartbreak. It’s a big irony but that sort of pain does make us better lovers. I don’t want anyone to experience what I experienced, so I try to talk better, be more compassionate–even if I was the one delivering that blow. I learned that a big part of loving someone is allowing them to love me back, and accepting their love when they give it.

      Thank you for that question. That is such a profound question, wow! I have secretly considered that. Heartbreak has made me dare myself to face the pain of disappointment more boldly. After that heartbreak, or any heartbreak actually, I tell myself that if I can deal with that pain then the pain of getting a rejection from a fancy job or from a publication can’t be that bad. The pain of working out, spending an ungodly amount of hours perfecting my craft can’t be that bad either. So it motivated me to be more bold in areas of my life where i KNEW I would never be so courageous.

      On the other hand, I realized and accepted the fact that had she–or any of the ladies who had broken my heart–decided to take my hand in romance to continue down the path of life by my side, well, I probably would have been married by now. I would have kids too which would inevitable motivate me to pursue a professional career with a more stable job than this–blogging and poetry writing. Granted, I wouldn’t be as profound of a writer nor as in touch with my emotions, probably.

      I think about that a lot, but I still can’t figure out whether I feel positively or negatively about the alternative vs where I currently am in life. Thank you for asking me that question. I’d love to know what your answer to it is too. How has your previous heartbreaks impacted your life?

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